She said: “I don’t even know if I’m human sometimes. I know that sounds mental, but I do believe we are all a bit like aliens.”

But if we’re all a bit like aliens, then aren’t all humans a bit like alien, and so feeling like that is human?

The United Nations have issued a statement in the last ten minutes, stressing that if it can be proven that Katie Melua has been sent to this planet by an alien intelligence, that will be viewed as a declaration of galactic war. “Unless they take her back, and James Blunt and Duffy as well as reparations” concluded the UN.

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Probably the greatest band ever to come from Rhode Island, they were the first Americans to sign to 4AD and – for those of us to whom these things matter – much more of a Melody Maker band than an NME one. And they were awesome.

Look, this is how awesome they were: Red Shoes, live on stage at Glastonbury:

Buy
The Real Ramona
In A Doghouse

More Throwing Muses online
Throwing Muses on 4AD
Throwing Muses on Spotify

More Muses across the weekend
Dizzy live on Big World Cafe

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On Saturday, Sept. 11, yours truly will present a Hopscotch day party at Kings with four of my favorite heavy local bands! This is going to be a free show, and will take place during the afternoon (start time isn’t set, but it will definitely be done by 5:30 p.m. so you can go catch Public Enemy and the Love Language).

I’m proud to announce that the line up will consist of two of my long-time favorites: Black Skies (above) and Caltrop;  plus two bands that have recently blown me away: MAKE and Hog. In fact I’m so impressed with MAKE that I put them on this bill without ever having seen them live. They’re that good.

This is a FREE show, and will be a good appetizer for the amazing Hopscotch show to happen at the Berkeley (U.S. Christmas, Kylessa, Weedeater, In the Year of the Pig) and the Pour House (Dungen) that evening. I should also note that this is not an official Hopscotch event, but that Grayson and Greg have been very cool about helping those of us (including Trekky Records, Churchkey and 307 Knox) who are putting on day shows.

I am really excited about this show and hope you all can make it — and since it’s a free show, I hope you drink lots of beer and buy lots of merchandise to make it worthwhile for Kings and the bands.

See you there!

If Twitter isn’t your cup of tea, you missed out on the great news about IGIF adored Young Man. The one-man-bainchild of Colin Caulfield, Young Man recently signed to Frenchkiss Records to (officially) release his debut EP Boy. It’s a terrific album and Caulfield is a terrific talent, showcasing his skills on YouTube with a slew of fine covers. Before you get lost for hours on his YouTube account, here’s another dreamy cover:

[MP3] Young Man – Heart of Chambers

It’s not as orchestrated or layered as the original, yet that’s the beauty of Young Man’s music. He has an innate ability to create moving music wrapped up in delicacy so hushed and humble, one can’t help but listen in awe and anticipating like a kindergarten during story-time.

Boy is set for release on Oct. 12^th with a small tour to boot!

“I’m doing the next record you’ll hear for the next 50 years,” Gallagher said.

“It’s not gonna be out until next year. We’ll probably get a single out October or November, and there’s no point in doing gigs if people haven’t heard the music.”

Actually, sweetheart, you might want to think about doing the gigs before people hear the music. Just to maximise the chances of people turning up.

Still, there you have it: after Beady Eye release their debut, there won’t be a better record made until 2061.

I know we’re all trying to stifle giggles, but it could happen. Say, for example, the record becomes available at 9am on Monday 5th May 2011, and five seconds later North Korea launch a full-out nuclear assault on Western nations, sending commerce and industry into a fifty year spiral of disaster which sees the next half-century entirely free of records being put out. Under those circumstances, Gallagher’s prediction would be true. And nobody would be laughing.

On the other hand, everyone else’s predictions – that the record will sound like a three-legged horse attempting to play through Band On The Run – are much sounder, I suspect.

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Mr Long, 44, who is a retired health and safety inspector and is now chairman of the Portsmouth and District Branch of the Multiple Sclerosis Association, said: ‘I’m an avid music collector and there is no reason why HMV need to discriminate in this way.’

‘By putting the majority of their stock upstairs they are preventing anyone who is in a wheelchair, is less able, or has a pushchair from browsing their shop.’

That’s both unfair and, more importantly, potentially illegal. Gennaro Castaldo – who, you’ll recall, was yesterday telling Marketing Week about how you can protect your brand with a spot of good PR – can you make things better?

Spokesman Gennaro Castaldo said: ‘We do our best to look after all our customers’ needs, and our store-team is always happy to help provide a service by alternative means, such as bringing a selection of products downstairs for a customer.

Right, Gennaro. If Mr Long wants to browse through the three for £20 offer, your staff will carry everything downstairs, will they? It’s a nice idea if Martin knew what he wanted to buy – ‘bring me a copy of Meat Is Murder’ – but isn’t HMV keen for customers to spend time browsing, discovering stuff they didn’t know they wanted. That’s the point of a record shop having a shop, isn’t it? If Martin knew what he wanted to buy, and could just get someone to bring it to him, he could use Amazon, right?

Can’t you find some way to let Martin get to the records?

In the case of our store in Commercial Road we carried out a feasibility study in line with DDA compliance requirements and were advised that installing a passenger lift would not be viable given the nature and construction of the building.

Ah – so there’s no way to put a lift in the building, Gennaro?

Hang on, though – there is a lift, isn’t there? Martin?

Mr Long, of Shakespeare Road, Fratton, said: ‘I asked a shop assistant if there was a lift but he said it was only for staff use. I don’t think they’re trying to make it easy for people in my position at all.’

It might be they’re talking at cross-purposes. Perhaps the lift is a paternoster or just more of a dumb waiter. After all, Gennaro wouldn’t be in the papers telling everyone putting in a passenger lift was impossible if there was a passenger lift out the back and it was just staff didn’t want to share, right?

Sure, there might be a security problem with having a customer go round the back of the counter to get upstairs – but the staff who Gennaro was going to have scamper up and down carrying discs could surely accompany a person who needed to use a lift instead?

Still, Gennaro, you have something to add?

We also responded to customer feedback by moving the children’s section downstairs to the ground floor to give improved access for parents with pushchairs and buggies.

Oh, yes, that helps: “what are you complaining about? We’ve put the Fimbles downstairs.” If Gennaro ever moves to whatever it is Osborne puts in place of the NHS, I look forward to dementia care patients being told their complaints are invalid because they’ve done something in the orthodontic department.

Still, it’s not like Gennaro just shrugged and said “go to another store”, is it?

He added that the company owns another shop in Portsmouth’s Gunwharf Quays which does have wheelchair access.

That’s something like a 25 minute walk away from the other store. You’re not prepared to find a way to let customers use a lift, but think they should start a half-hour haul across the town instead. Classy.

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[MP3] Foxes in Fiction – Lately

Similar to the podcasts, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted the always enjoyable Thursdays and Covers. Kicking off this week’s collection is a new cover from terrific Canadian bedroom act Foxes in Fiction. I’ve been a fan of Warren Hildebrand’s lo-fi folk/pop for quite some time, and his cover of Memoryhouse’s “Lately” only increases my fandom.

[MP3] The Band in Heaven – Dreams

A new band popped into the inbox this week labeling themselves “Floridian shoegaze” and c’mon, what’s not intriguing about shoegaze from “The Sunshine State”? This duo goes by the name The Band in Heaven and are close with other acts from Florida like Levek, Surfer Blood, Viernes and Blind Man’s Colour. For a state often associated with orange juice and old people, they’re amassing quite the music scene. I’ll have a full write-up on The Band in Heaven next week but for now, enjoy their cover of The Cranberries tune “Dreams”.

Shakira is one cute Colombian and quite a crazy dancer. I thought she’d never top busting into the mainstream with her dancing in the video for “Whenever, Wherever”, but boy was I ever wrong. Not a lot of dancing involved in this live video from Glastonbury, where she covered “one of her favorite bands out there” The xx track “Islands”:

I’ve not lived up to my promise of consistent podcast production this past month and I’m feeling guilty. After fielding lots of questions about a new podcast installment, I’ve decided the cure to this guilt trip lies within making a new episode! It’s been awhile but I Guess I’m Podcasting is back and better than ever.

This episode is a fully enhanced podcast with chapter markers, album artwork, and song info to boot. Below you’ll find a link to episode nine, which includes a whole lot of great music with a little bit of commentary.

Subscribe to I Guess I’m Podcasting for FREE – new episodes and mixes will automatically be delivered to your iTunes each week once they go live! For those not using iTunes simply add this feed into your RSS reader for updates as well!

The ninth episode includes brand new tunes from Arcade Fire, The Love Language, Suckers, Family Trees, Magic Kids, and Gamble House as well as some older favorites from St. Vincent, Dirty Projectors, Nirvana, The New Pornographers and many more. Full playlist and episode archive after the jump!

Previously: Ep. 1 | Ep. 2 | Ep. 3 | Ep. 4 | Ep. 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8

Where, though, will Marketing Week turn for an example of how it should be done? Who is the king of the well-managed PR campaign?

Step forward Gennaro Castaldo, HMV’s head of on-off record briefings:

The challenges facing PR are increasing for brands across all sectors, says Gennaro Castaldo, head of press and PR at HMV. “There are so many channels now, particularly online and via social media, beyond the control of companies or their marketers.”

Oh, yes. People actually having conversations about companies without the company controlling them. Horrific, isn’t it?

Gennaro turns his sad emoticon upside-down, though:

PR executed well can result in positive branded conversations on news, blogs and social media sites, adds Castaldo. “Just as new channels present new challenges, the accompanying opportunities are also getting bigger.”

You’ll have noticed that Gennaro has seized this opportunity by – despite not actually saying anything at all – getting his company mentioned in Marketing Week with the impression that they’re good at new media.

Mind you, HMV is quite good at old media – witness a just-this-side-of-fawning full page on HMV’s Simon Fox, filling an entire page of this week’s MediaGuardian.

How did HMV get a sledge of prime coverage about a shopkeeper in a media supplement? Great PR people, pure and simple. Nothing to do with Fox being a non-executive director of The Guardian, that’s for sure.

(To be fair to MediaGuardian, they do refer to his job with them in the piece. But it’ll be interesting to see how many other entertainment stores – the ones without shared executives – get to enthuse over their digital strategies at length in their pages in the coming weeks.)

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